There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
