Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
