can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I had to cum in my sink.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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