Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
