I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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