I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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