i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize