The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
