and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
