her vagine was all disorganized.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
