Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
