trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
