About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
