At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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