i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
