he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i out mim tonsoeep
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