Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize