there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
