did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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