there was a trapeze. enough said
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
