I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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