You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
