Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
