had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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