i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
