So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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