Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
