I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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