Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
