So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
worst night to have a conscience
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
