So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
