I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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