after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
