Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
