his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
