I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
