ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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