I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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