"it" just moved
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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