Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
