Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize