The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
