Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
