"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
