A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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