My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
