Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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