I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
