How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
