its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize