I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
as a side note pls kill me
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