my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
