He asked me if I "almost moaned"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
