I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
