yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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