And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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