There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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