I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
