It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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