your room smells of hookers.
And success
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
babies were throwing up all over the place
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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