Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
please come you make the beer taste better
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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