your room smells of hookers.
And success
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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