Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
