Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
