my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
