Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize