I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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