i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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