I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
