Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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