Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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