your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
