hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
